Forgive the relative brevity/incoherence of this review; I did it on paper in a coffee shop slash book store, and now I'm rewriting/adding to it, lol.
Starting out, kick drum is too loud during your intro; perc in general is much too loud until the chorus. This sounds to me like your vocals haven't been properly compressed, along with your guitars.
Listening on speakers, they sound less thin than they had on my monitor headphones, but watch those high notes; I can feel you really reaching at points, sometimes overshooting or going flat. May check out some voice training by Ken Tamplin. Every issue you're having, intonation, overall volume, pitchy head voice/falsetto, his singing course addresses (and most of it can be found on YT, albeit more sparsely than in the DVD/online materials).
I can't tell if you're sitting or standing, but if you're sitting, definitely recommend standing to sing. It will make a huge difference in your air stream. Another few tips from the series -- you know how you laugh? From your belly, right? Breathe from there. Let your diaphragm, not your chest, drive your singing. Practice good posture, good tongue posture -- open up like the doc has you in his office with a tongue suppressor, so your singing resonates off of your palate -- if you're doing it right, it should make you feel like yawning -- and if you practice with scales, and I recommend you do, the staccato HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH method is the way to go.
This alone improved my singing in a single session, enough I feel the need to re-do every piece I've ever sung on tbh. You've got a good voice hiding under there. I can hear it peeking out. May be something to look into.
Now, writing here is pretty good; good chord progression, steady pacing, good variation of texture. Never too soft, never too hard. Guitars overall could stand to come up in the mix except for the naked section before 3:00.
Final chorus ends abruptly, bringing all the instrumentation back. I would have slowly pared it down to another naked vocal/guitar section. Bringing everything back is a signal, "We're going to have one last, long chorus," and then poof.
I will say the vocals, both written and delivered, sound very non-native to my ear -- BUT your chorus itself is viral. It's the verses that need more of a natural touch. As I was writing this review out, long after the song ended, it still hung in my head.
Overall, some minor gelling issues between synths and guitars, but otherwise I dig it.
Thanks for coming out to NGRMC!