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save state (ngrmc remix) (vocaloid:MEGPOID)

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from VIRTUAL SUPERSTARS, which is available to download here -> https://mrsmash64.bandcamp.com/album/virtual-superstars

for newgrounds remix competition (hosted by zophar)
the main chorus/hook of the song is an edited version of the melody, being half the speed and adding some "groove" to it. don't worry though! the original melody comes in for the build up!

the concept for the lyrics was something i've been thinking about for a while, what if someone could save state in real life like you could in an emulator?

lyrics :

i have seen the future...

everyone wants to change their fate
but no one wants to see
the world's meaningless can't be escaped
i try to fit in
but why should i do that when i
know that nothing i do can be punished

i can see the future

i've seen the world end in nuclear wars
that i've started just because i'm bored
save ignored and killed all of my friends cause
i have time to kill and i know that i can

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Parts of the instrumental remind me of Ar tonelico 3, specifically Tilia's version of EXEC_HYMME_BATTLESPHERE/. The instrumentation is similar, and gives that JRPG sort of feel to me. The mixing is on point, and I love the sliced up vocals a lot.

My one complaint, for which I'm docking one star, is that the tune of the vocals tends to go all over the place. Only "I can see the future" is memorable to me, along with the intro and the way you used the competition's melody. But ask me to sing this song from memory, I wouldn't be able to.

MrSmash64 responds:

thank you for this review! the vocals make sense to me, but maybe that's because i've made instrumentals my whole musical life and that's just where my head goes, vocalists might have different mindsets though, idk. vocals are very new to me and i'd love to get better with them in the future!

btw i LOVE your work

Really like the composition here. A bit hard to understand Megpoid's consonants though until a few listens through.

There are some weak lyric lines like:
save ignored and killed all of my friends cause
i have time to kill and i know that i can

Killed and kill right there next to each other. That second line could be rephrased or put a different way to convey the same idea with a bit more flow.

Dig the composition and combination of styles, a good pastiche of J-Pop conventions, plus that nicely styled amen break. I can hardly hear the original tune in my head until that break you mentioned, which to me is the sign of excellent transformative work. I'd love an extended version.

My one complaint is reserved to the chunky chord at 0:51 secs. Move some of those voices around and I think it'd work very nicely.

Thanks for coming out to NGRMC!

MrSmash64 responds:

i actually meant that line to kinda play with the words, but it might sound stupid outside of my own head.
also i literally have zero clue how to extend this, as i structured it like an anime intro.
thanks for the review!!!

[ Official NGRMC Review ]

I like this! It's a great remix! The intro into the song is really nice, especially when the highpass sweeps in. That just makes it sound cool. But after that when it gets to the melody, it sounded like the melody needed a bit more. I feel the first time the melody hit it could have used a bit more to fill in the empty spaces. Maybe an extra instrument? I like the lyrics! They fit this really well. Overall, great remix! I really enjoyed it! The only part I didn't like was that first melody. Nice job!
Thanks!
Zophar

MrSmash64 responds:

yeah that first melody couldve been fleshed out more. thanks for the review!

This track is really good ! I wish I was able to use vocaloids :))

MrSmash64 responds:

The only way to get better at using vocaloids is to keep using them!
I'm glad you enjoyed this!

Great song! Is it my or does it sound like something from Mario? It has that nice flow to it. Good Luck on the contest!

MrSmash64 responds:

I've been exposed to Mario Music my whole life, so that definitely factors into my work, especially at 00:50
Thanks for the support!

Credits & Info

MrSmash64
Author

Listens
358
Faves:
4
Votes
11
Score
4.04 / 5.00

Uploaded
Aug 26, 2018
1:06 PM EDT
Genre
Dance
File Info
Song
4.7 MB
2 min 3 sec
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Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.