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You'll Get Yours

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I really tried to approach this song with deep thought in what had been happening to me lately. I hate when people can be so self-absorbed that because they have a "greater power or presence", they feel better than others.

Anyway, I tried my best with the lyrics. Once again, it's me on all of my instruments, I used Reaper, through EZ Mix for voice, BIAS AMP and BIAS FX for guitars and bass. Drums by EZ Drummer.

I made this song just for the competition that is happening right now on Newgrounds. I'm loving the fact that everybody's working together on this one.

Lyrics:
Be good and kind or so they say, oh but what a lie.
Because heaven's a perfect place to be but nobody wants to die

For the longest time, intimidating us.

Walking through the lines of people alike, guards before us all
They're telling us to step aside and wait, they're waiting for us to fall.

For the longest time, intimidating us.

You'll get yours and I'll get mine someday.
YOU'LL GET YOURS AND I'LL GET MINE SOMEDAY.

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Nice tunes

So you have some nice tunes here on this piece it did seem repetitive alot actually maybe you can ad in some tempo changes and mixtures of other instraments but your rythem really works well on this and plays really well I especially like how this starts off so I would suggest more instraments more mixture and more tempo changes but that's what I took away from this beautiful sound of work

~~SUGGESTED IDEAS~~
A few things mentioned just above

~X~

dude2312 responds:

Hey, man. Thank you so much for checking my songs. I really appreciate it. I was in a deadline for the Newgrounds' 2018 competition. I have been thinking about adding more stuff here and there but I kinda like the fact that I didn't get much time to work on it. Work under pressure, you know?

Once again, thank you so much for checking it out. Check out my newest song, I started a studio. Hit me up if you ever need something recorded or help mixing anything.

this is a cool grungey song and i like the single-climax structure. the guitars and bass are played well, the tone is lacking presence and the guitars are too centered and don't fill out the stereo image very much, resulting in a kinda claustrophobic mix. would be good to hold right back on the volume of the drums and bass in the intro and ramp it up gradually into the buildup so that when the drums kick in properly at 1:40 they REALLY kick in and have all the impact they should have. it's the only climax in the song, so you need to make it count!

vocal is a bit too boomy and fades away into the bass guitar once that comes in. the pitch correction is a bit too "strict" and the lack of vibrato sucks a lot of the life out of your vocal performance - plus it turns all your sss and shh sounds into buzzy Z sounds haha. i actually think the overall level is fine, maybe just a little loud at the beginning. also record with a pop filter or off-axis/across the microphone next time, the plosives are killing me! the big chorusey vocal tone at the end is really great, big alice in chains vibes there. would've been good to put some more layers under it though, like one an octave lower + a higher harmony maybe? at the moment it seems kinda barren.

drums sounds like ez drummer. not the most "human" programming but it does what you need it to. i think the kick sound is probably too aggressive for this kind of song though, very big and in your face like a metal track but the track wants something more rounded and easy going - plus there's some kinda bass boost or something on it? it just woofs out in this weird way that i don't really like. the tom toms sounds like a bunch of wet noodles but they have nice stereo spread. something i like to do is to boost the frequency of each tom's first or second harmonic a bit and then run them through separate compressors with a fairly long attack to get a nice clear punch on each of them. mixing toms is hard! the snare sounds great though

anyway yea, mix and production needs a little more attention but this was pretty good! keep it up!

dude2312 responds:

Thank you so much for making this detailed comment. I'll make sure I take into consideration all of the feedback provided. I did struggle a lot with this song while finding the right bass tone for me. I thought about adding more vibrato but, I don't know why I didn't use that much. Drums are definitely EZ Drummer, although they could be better, they do the job just fine. Midimachine, thanks once again for reviewing my amateur song.

I like the organic sound at the beginning. Starting the intro off with a shaker was a good idea. You have a really nice voice. It blends really well with the low-register guitar riffs. There aren’t a lot of higher-pitched tones in the first half of the piece or so. That might be an potential area for filling out the texture a little more if appropriate. I really like the lyrics themselves too. Great use of rhyme scheme and thematic content. I like how the texture begins to pick up at 1:23. The piece really starts coming together only in the second half or so, between the energy at 1:40 and the solo at 1:49. That was a risky move compositionally, but I think it totally paid off. The result is that the track feels really repetitive and also serves as a narrative form, with the grand conclusion “you’ll get yours and I’ll get mine” only coming to light at the end. Usually, I have reservations about pieces that only have one main climax as a focal point (because they often lack dynamism otherwise), but the progression here is curated really well. My main complaints here are that the piece is pretty repetitive harmonically, and that the texture could’ve been filled out a little more early on in the piece. Still, the mix is both loud and clear, the sound design is really good, and the passion is self-evident. Super strong work here, dude2312. By all means, keep it up! ^_^

Mixing, mastering, and balance
2/2
Structure, transitions, phrasing, and variety
1.25/1.5
Melody, tonality, harmony, and texture
1.75/2
Instrumentation and sound design
1/1
Emotion, atmosphere, and catchiness
1.5/1.5
Originality and uniqueness
1/1
Overall (how do the elements above interact?)
1/1
Composite score
9.5/10

dude2312 responds:

Oh, my! TaintedLogic, it is an honor to have such a good review by you. Thank you, I always welcome feedback with open arms. I liked the fact that you think it is passionate, I really do try to put my best to it. I am barely starting to record on my own room, I try to do my best. Once again, thank you so much.

I may not agree with that first couplet from an ideological standpoint, but song as a whole is great. I only have a few critiques on the mix/FX.

Vocals are a couple dB too loud, even into the big outro section. Sound a bit too dry as well until the 2:18 outro.

1:36, sibilant s sound sticks out.

Otherwise, it seems to be a bit over-reverbed in places, 2:34-2:35 started clipping -- seems mixed a bit too loud before . You could get that nice, silky, spacious lead tone by double-tracking it 5-15% L-R, then applying light reverb via sends.

Enjoyed the track. Thanks for coming out to NGUAC!

dude2312 responds:

Thanks for the feedback. I am so glad you enjoyed it, ADR3-N! I am getting great tips by everyone here on Newgrounds, I am loving the people over here!

Damn, that was pretty mane. Loooved the guitars especially (good wah usage). Also loved the building, linear structure, nice payoff with a great solo.

dude2312 responds:

Thanks ever so much! I really tried my best with this one. Given the timeframe restrictions for the contest! I'm glad you liked it, man!

Credits & Info

dude2312
Author

Listens
274
Faves:
2
Downloads
9
Votes
7
Score
4.28 / 5.00

Uploaded
Aug 3, 2018
1:09 AM EDT
Genre
Indie
File Info
Song
6.8 MB
2 min 57 sec
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