In fairness, I don't have tuned musical ears and don't make music myself. Also this genre is not for me. I will not be returning to this take.
I still think you have talent and can do much better work, but this rating represents the why 189 could listen to it and say nothing. The intro's echo clashes with itself and doesn't quite resolve itself until about a minute in. It takes dedication from the listener to muscle past this opening. The length is fair and maybe to its own demographic it's 4 stars.
verjamon 
