everything by itself is great but it just seems a bit too much things is playing at the same time, especially on 0-17 seconds it's just a big mess of everything and i'm just scared and then you kind of get used to it and figure out what s going on. i'd say that someone with untrained ear would simple hear it like "white noise"
because it's just too many things all at the same time, if you spread them out so it's more like a conversation between the parts and not a crowd of people all talking at the same time, trying to be louder than the next guy, than it would be great, because all the parts are pretty interesting by themselves. i mean ... if there is a guy that you like to talk to ... and you're talking. then the other guy comes in and you're talking, it's all good again. but then if you bring the both guys and try to do it that way , you'd probably not understand what anyone was saying or at least constantly switch between the two. so what we have here is basically a "sum of the parts" = the whole song or rather the arrangement of the each section. but the whole song and the arrangement of the each part should be more than a sum of it's parts. what would be cool is that if you'd give us every channel rendered separately and our producer would put it together in a more organized way to show you exacly what i mean.
so to summarize ... the parts are great , the sum of them - not so much.
it's a very easy thing to mess up in electronic music, because you can essentially have a million things playing all at the same time and not run out of budget for paying all of the musicians that'd play the instruments.
but um ... oh i just noticed the genre , i guess if you went for the industrial , then it was probably intentional, but it was closer to "noise" genre in my opinion, at least with this kind of heavily overlaying\competing arrangement.
not trying to be rude or insult you, just um ... cold objective analysis or simply what i'd say if it was our song, waiting to be approved for uploading.