It's pretty good, and I'm guessing you're new at this. Don't worry, we all start out new! :)
Keep trying and practicing, and the future songs you submit will be awesome!
BTW, this song is pretty catchy. :D
thx :D, i do think this isnt too good, but i think it's derivable, so if anyhone wants to, just use this in your song/loop =3
The only thing I liked was the rhytm.. though it's a bit cliche.. But this is very bad in most ways. I'm not trying to be rude, I guess you're a starter! You've got a lot to learn. But I can hear you've got the feeling for commercial stuff, so..
thx for the comment =D