Cool ideas! Here's where you can improve.
- Snare doesnt have any crispness. needs some high freq's. ( it's hard to get right especially if you're not using headphones or studio monitor speakers ). also turn down the mid low freq's (around 100hz'ish area). turn that part down a bit.
- Add a sub bass track. wheres the oomph? not hard to make a sub bass just layer it with your exsisting bassline. use 3xosc or something. a default sine wave will do it. just drop the coarse pitch -24. (super basic you'll have to play with it to get it right).
You're on the right track. work on transitions. the ending is cool i like that classic fade out. just keep experimenting.
Frost
AlphaStormMusic 
