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M.A.T.E.S.

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What was that famous sitcom from the 90's called about six mates who lived in the city?

Never mind, here's some lyrics:

So no-one told you life was this way
Your job's a joke, you're DOA
It's like you're in the wrong gear
When it hasn't been your day, or year, or month

But

I'll be there
When the rain starts
I'll be there
Like I was before
I'll be there for you
Because you're there for me too

Still in bed at 10 and work's already started
You've burned breakfast but you're gonna be late for work
Your mother warned you there'd be days
but, she didn't tell you that you will die, in pain.

I'll be there for you
('cause you're there for me)
I'll be there for you
('cause you're there for me)

Ross Geller died in a tragic palaeontology accident
('cause you're there for me too)
Monica Geller died when she was hit by a speeding truck
(like I've been there before)
Phoebe Buffay was stabbed to death and her head was severed
It was never found
(what are they feeding you)

Chandler Bing jumped from the roof of an 80 storey building
because he lost so much money for his company
('cause I'll be there for youuuuuu)
He died instantly when he hit the ground
Hit the ground.

Rachel Green, she was disembowelled by a fellow inmate in state penetentiary
She was sent to jail for money laundering
Money laundering
Rachel Green
(she'll be there for you)

Joey Tribiani, he died when he went for a walk in the park
(he'll be there for you)
He was killed by a rabid gang of ducks
They pecked his eyeballs out, he bled to death
Joey bled to death from duck injuries
(duck injuries, Joey Tribiani)

Many years later, the police raided ugly naked guy's house
('cause he's there for you too)
In his fridge they found the severed head of Phoebe Buffay
(Phoebe Buffay)
It had been raped several hundred times

Ross's son Ben, was killed by police
Witnesses say it was a suicide by cop

M.A.T.E.S.

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Rofl fuck friends, great way to kill them off. Not sure why the network didn't pick this up in a heartbeat? Guess they don't like money.

GoreBastard responds:

I think season 11 will be opening with this beauty.

Deer god.

GoreBastard responds:

I knew you'd be there for me.

DAAA NA NA NA NAAA NAAA NAAA NAAAAA NAAAAAAA

Hahahahahahahaha.

You twat. I've got a cold and my throat is fucking sore. I don't need any more sore throat from laughing.

Fucking "Friends"... hahahaha wank programme

GoreBastard responds:

I tried to pitch this to them to use for the last season, but they told me to, "go and sit in a fucking minefield".

Friends. Pffft. More like, fucking, cunts.

Credits & Info

GoreBastard
Author

Listens
413
Faves:
1
Downloads
5
Votes
6
Score
3.60 / 5.00

Uploaded
Nov 1, 2017
12:54 PM EDT
Genre
Heavy Metal
File Info
Song
5.4 MB
5 min 54 sec
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