Dope beat, love the oboe that shows itself after your verse.
Speaking of your verse, I agree with Teddy that it is a little too dry.
Other than that, I have no qualms.
Great track bruv!
5/5 10/10
story about a misunderstood killer on a new beat I'm makin.
recorded on a whim, wasn't originally writ to this beat but it works well.
lemme know what you think of it, and also about the vocal mix.
I suppose I'll forever roam.
Ronin, tryna find something I've never known.
Can you show me?
Hopefully my blade can remain clean
but the stains seem to leave slowly,
most people don't know pain from a cold November rain,
wouldn't know regret from a blood-red sunset,
Sword wanna blood-let some more, it ain't done yet.
But I'm tryna get past that. Where my mask at?
When I pass in a cloak with my hat low.
Doomed to leave behind a plume of black smoke.
Back then I was a human attack dog,
killing machine that left the masters slackjawed,
Trained with a black heart, sharpening my fangs,
but the fact remains that i was chained in the backyard,
racking my brain, a way to break the shackles,
Left in the rain, they were afraid of my cackles,
Afraid I would snap and filet them bastards.
That's what happened, hacked and slashed em.
Blind rage found my way outta that town,
Night passed, found the right path, never back down.
So where'm I at now?
Still on my own followed by a black cloud.
Wanna repair my soul so I took that vow.
When I look back now, I'm surprised at how shit changed.
In this day, this age, it's strange,
All the anger and hatred we display.
No speaking, just the words that our fists say,
thirst only quenched by the red mist spray,
But I guess we gotta learn from our mistakes,
Try to gather up all the courage that it takes,
try to stand firm on the earth when it quakes,
Every foe defeated sure to raise the stakes.
Dope beat, love the oboe that shows itself after your verse.
Speaking of your verse, I agree with Teddy that it is a little too dry.
Other than that, I have no qualms.
Great track bruv!
5/5 10/10
Definitely some dope stuff here! Lyrics were on point and beat was chill with a dark self story to relate to. I noticed it could use some more to it, maybe a hook later on or something ya know but great work dude, gonna recommend this to a friend.
There was actually another verse, but the tone was so different between them it didnt feel like it matched up right. Almost like a separate story.
Thanks fa listening man. I swear I gotta go in on one of your beats next.
This is dope. I was really taken aback when the vocals came in because the beat was slow and had a sorta janky rhythm to it, while the rapping was super fast and frenetic. It's a cool contrast. I'm wondering what the track would sound like if the drums were busier and more frenetic like the vocals.
Dig the vinyl noise in the back. It was almost acting like a set of hats, in addition to the hats you had in the beat.
With the beat I was going more for the lofi stoner sound. Faster hats would be good for the rap I suppose but I think ultimately wouldn't be right for the feel. So yea I agree the contrast is a little jarring at first. Verse would be better on the original beatbit was written to.
all my 5 stars <3 <3 <3
^_^
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.
* Contains third-party samples.
Excercise caution when using it, refer to author comments / contact the author for details.