Story of the Man
"All love from him is gone.friends, and family. he decides to commite suicide. no rope or gun. just falling into the abyss of sorrow and pain. yet but thinking, he decides not. he decides he must live with the pain. he must choose a brighter path. a better and efficient one. and yet in the end. no progress. so he waits. for someone to see the horrible path he choose. and then help him. for better...or for worse."
hope that was good enough.
I wish I hadn't read the reviews before finishing the piece. Dang it. The confusion I thought was jumping... not shooting... the twisted change afterward made me think that he had bit jumped. The vision i conjured was him walking in a gray city on a fogy day. And then, he sees his apartment building, walks up the steps, touches the handle... turns around and looks at the street for 3 seconds and then turns and closes the door behind him. maybe that's just what happens in movies, but I don't remember ever seeing this image before, and one of my best friends was the man. Wow, didn't mean to write so much. But I... I just don't know what else to say after this.
Nice job composing this song. Could work in a melodrama, but for some reason I've heard a song similar to this. Yeah I know this is your own authentic composition, but soo many melodrama songs have been made there is hardly any room for new stuff. This fact won't affect your grade I give you at all. Just pointing it out to you. So the emotion...check, the skill to compose song from scratch...check, being able to compose a song that actually requires talent rather than a crap load of special effects to make song good ....check, experienced musician....check, made my day sad...check. So overall I give you a 10/10 and a 5/5. Suggestions is maybe add something more original. I'm still giving you a 10 on originality because it is something new on NG, not the wrld wide music though. Sounds similar to other sad songs. Bye for now
ok, of you really made all of this, then you should consider a music career.
lol, absolutely not. I'm never being an artist of any type as a career.
Hello again Dave!
I love stories, the whole reason I make music is to tell a story, and i'm glad to know that you are taking a similar approach.
I was looking forward to reading the full story, but hopefully you'll post that up soon ^^.
In any case, lets get onto this piece.
This piece Dave, is one that holds a lot of potential, and don't think that means I felt you did it wrong, or that you didn't do a good job, but what I mean is that there is so many ways of carrying out this story, it's sometimes overwhelming.
Lets begin with instrument choices.
Now I love the strings, more so then anything, however I don't know if the strings were the best way of handling this scenario. For example, I really think a flute or oboe would have truly nailed this story home. Not so much flute... no I guess flute would not be that effective, though interesting, I would most definitely consider the oboe a valuable asset though.
I would suggest the piano however I'm not sure if using it would make the song too... cliche? I know there is only so many instruments one can use, and really it's how one uses it and not what they use.
You've got a lot of ambient type like feeling here and thats perfect for this kind of story. The length of the piece is also rather extensive, a concern I have is the diversity of the song. This would make an awesome background track no doubt, but it tends to start blending together, and sounding the same if you're not paying attention to it.
So really what i'm trying to say is it lacks some diversity, and as a direct result I felt it wasn't as original as it could be.
I'd also suggest a nice choir, but would that bleed the song from it's core? I don't really know, it adds a lot, but potentially removes just as much, depending on the emotion you were going for I suppose.
The ending is debatable. It ended on an angry note, and the extended note it held was a little hard on the ears, perhaps dissonant? By no means do I mean it shouldn't be there, it is an interesting twist, and definitely it makes the song more noticeable before it ends.
In any case, this is another good work! Keep them coming Dave, keep up the good fight!
Oh, dammit...you didn't listen to the end, Maestro! After that dissonant chord, there's a key change, which is very crucial to my story...I should've said something about that in the description, huh? I didn't have anything other than strings for a reason...The added texture of a piano would hurt because of the percussive nature of the piano...although a choir would've worked.
The story of this song is one that's very close to me...A man looses everyone that he's close to. In anguish, he contemplates suicide, and even goes as far as to get a gun and put it to his own head (represented by that dissonant chord towards the end)...he drops the gun, though...and decides to just live in pain, a changed man...and yet the same...(represented by the key change but identical melody)
Not too many details of the story, as I like to let the listener get them him/herself.
Thanks for the review, Maestro.
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.