I like the crisp percussion at the beginning. The synth at :15 has a nice atmosphere to it. You have a good sense of harmony and rhythm, although I think the melody synths are a bit generic. Also, I think varying the rhythm in those synths would help build a stronger melody. I also think the piece needs way more variety and shape - I’d encourage you to try experimenting more with dynamics, phrasing, and more innovative transitions, as well as making the structure of your piece a little more complex, with elements like bridges, breakdowns, build-ups and solos. Some pads might also help thicken the texture at times. My main problem with the piece is that the composition is underwhelming. Keep at it, man. ;)
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.