I like the distorted effects in the background and the descending guitar riff. The vocals sound really raw and organic, which is good in a way, but I think they could use some more reverb. A couple of mixing issues reveal themselves during the chorus. The guitars sound pretty distorted, and the drums could be a lot stronger, to the point where the kick is almost completely lost. I think you need a hard compression on the drums, and maybe some EQ’ing work to smooth over that guitar. The atmosphere of the piece works really well, though. The simplicity of the verse is effective, and the fade-in by the lead guitar also serves as a smooth transition. I like the variations in the guitar at 2:43 too. If you were to clean up the mixing a bit, this piece would be seriously strong. Not that it isn’t now, but I think the mixing detracts from the piece a lot. Otherwise, solid work. Ironically, in taking on a traditional pop form and sound design, you’ve set yourself apart from the pool of largely electronic artists here. Well done!