The mid section melody at the beginning isn't great to be honest. The melodies with the wobble sound is quite good, but I find that melodies created with wobbles are usually not very effective. You should use orchestral instruments for that melody like strings. That would be quite epic.
In this piece, the mix can be so much better with heavy percussion (kick primarily). The drum choice matters a lot, so choose powerful samples.
The sound design isn't great. The wobbles don't feel fully processed in terms of sound design. They feel like someone just started designing it but didn't finish applying the necessary compression (etc). That could be a matter of the overall mix as well, but that is something to look into.
There is a point where chords come in around 3:05 and the melodies and chords kind of clash with this undesirable dissonance. Listen carefully for details like that.
The overall track is quite repetitive, which is not good in this case especially because it is a 6 minute track. You only want to make a track long if it needs to be. There is one famous track (I forget the name) that is around 11 minutes, but it is really well done.
I appreciate the storyline you guys included for the project. Since music is an art, I believe it can be combined with other forms of creativity. That's why music videos exist (though a lot of them are more about publicity and advertisement unfortunately).
So to summarize:
-work towards less repetitiveness
-work towards a stronger mix; it takes time to develop an ear for mixing, but it can be done with practice.
-watch out for dissonant notes that don't work with the chords.
-work towards stronger sound design (each of you can practice and even give each other feedback throughout the contest period).
-Listen to TaintedLogic's review. I just looked over it now, and it is quite similar to my review actually in terms of key points. TaintedLogic lists out a logical perspective of the flow of the track. TAKE NOTES XD
-Use some background FX and reverb during the intro, verses (etc). so that it has more of the vibe you are going for. There are a lot of possibilities for an idea like yours.
Either way, you guys proved that you can work together. So now you need to discuss on how you will improve from this point for your next piece if you make it to the next round of NGADM.
Best of luck, you three!