I like a lot of what you do in this song. Having listened through a couple of yours, it sounds like you rely on the chorus/refrain to fill time, usually repeating it at least twice. *That* I don't enjoy as much. Single-repeats on the refrain might help there. Alternatively, introducing changes to the refrain as you progress through the song (to tell a different or more complete story?) Even just changing which words you emphasize could help a lot to keep your refrains from getting stale. I noticed you do that at 2:40, and it helped, but still a bit too much of the same refrain for my tastes. Maybe a 3rd stanza to take up the space the refrains take up.
Really liked the use of the saxophone solo to transition to different paces. I'd even suggest going a bit further there with larger shifts (in pace, intensity, etc).
It's easy to be a critic, though, and I can't exactly promise that these are even good ideas. Have a good day!