I like the synths at the beginning and the filtering effects that create a mini-climax into :07. The piece was a little slow to develop, but the stop-starts at :30 ruined the flow for me a bit. I would suggest adding some reverb to smooth it over a bit there. It sounded like the piece was building towards something around the 1-minute mark, but you didn't exactly release the tension. I like the tempo automation at around 1:30. I was craving some more melodic content by around the 2-minute mark, but it never really came. It seems like you have a couple of cycles in this piece where you skip right over a drop/refrain and go from a build-up to a breakdown immediately. I think the structure would be a lot more effective with an emotional height in there somewhere. Your build-ups are also fairly drawn out, especially the one from around 3:10 - 4:30. It's just a little excessive, and once again only leads to a chill chordal section. This piece is very long and has a lot of tension that never quite resolves. I like the style of this piece, but I think you should think more about the composition next time; cycles of tension and release are really effective in music, but you need some more release for it to work here. I also thought the piano at the end sounded really fake, and the ending itself wasn't that conclusive. Sorry to be so harsh on you, though. It's a bit of an experimental piece, but it certainly conveys some neat moods and has a cool unpolished aesthetic. Keep at it, man! ;)
Thank you for the very in-depth review, in some areas this track turned out quite rough, since this was my first time trying to produce industrial music. It's interesting seeing the critique with the piano, since my intention was to sort of mess with the uncanny valley with it. I do certainly agree that the composition was kinda lacking on this piece, since my main focus was the sound design. Thanks for the review, and I'll have something a bit more polished for this year's NGADM.
The breakdown around 4 minutes was refreshing. I enjoyed the track overall, worth listening to again.
Thanks a lot for the review!