Sounds as if recorded by a potato. Please, invest in some better equipment or put your mic further away. There are lots of screeching frequencies as well as noise. Now, if you have a DAW, some of this can be EQ'ed out. Was very hard to listen to due to screeching. Other than that, it wouldn't be a bad composition. Really need to lay off the super long releases, as everything is running together. Find some way to run this into your PC.
thank you, I always like honesty. i wrote this seven years ago on an old account and everyone was supportive, no critisism at all, so i never improved. i shall now