Tunefully, there is nothing wrong with this song. But the structure is a bit off. You could maybe make the transitions between tracks a bit smoother; it's a little bit clunky.
Also, there are too many melodies. Most songs have a melody that the rest of the song revolves around. These one seems to have a new one every twenty seconds, which can be confusing.
Most big songs have a tune that they keep going throughout the whole track, and it becomes almost like a chant that the rest of the song follows. Try and keep to that and the rest of the song will improve a lot more.
The beat also can be hard to follow, since it changes very often to fit with the new melody. So if you keep a steady beat throughout, it can make the song a lot easier to listen to, if you know what I mean.
Just my opinion!
Thanks! I'll take your advice!
So cool,well done! Keep it up with good music and rythms :D
Thanks you! Glad you like it!