Well this was rather interesting theres some good words in there and the tune itself was different but seems to work, kind of slow but that was the intent I gather, anyways an interesting piece you have.
~~THINGS TO IMPROVE ON~~
maybe have a sped up tempo at times to ad some intense to the tune.
This is a bit of a shitty poem as they go, but the voice over is excellent as your vocas go, please release your other voiceover work stu as you are very professional at this kind of work! Whats that about a golden shower??
I wasn't 100% sure about you releasing this piece, but it did alright on HitRECord and YT so I don't see why not?! But this is a very sensitive song and people need to know this. Hopefully I can do more just straight over voiceover works in the future as I really enjoyed doing this and I think you edits to the track have doe it justice! We will just have to see what davis thinks and the general public on this portal...I've got a new Singer-Songwriter piece which I'm currently developing and maybe we could get you to sing on it? mainly as I just don't want to sing anymore as, I'm just a bit kack at it and I did a vocal piece today and it took around twenty odd vocal takes to get right, and it still sounds suspect! I'll leave this one up to you and see if you can do anything with it when I finish and send the files over!