The distorted white noise at the beginning were a good idea, but I would’ve equalized and filtered them more carefully so they didn’t sound so harsh. Also, I don’t see how they fit very well with the tranquil melodies that fade in at :18. I think you would’ve been best advised to get rid of the white noise altogether and instead add a simple crash or sweep before the fade-in. I also thought the initial melodic section dragged on for a bit too long. It’s almost 1.5 minutes into the piece (1:28) before the listener gets any kind of structural relief, despite the mild-mannered and soothing nature of the melody instrument. There was a good sense of build into 1:45, but the claps there were a little weak. I think they should’ve been compressed more heavily. The melodies themselves at 1:45 are also enjoyable, if a little too square rhythmically. I love the tempo modulations at around 2:15 (and again at 2:35). They helped create a sense of development to the piece, but I think you could’ve enhanced that sense of development by varying the melodies more the second time around. The ending also felt a bit rushed. Overall, the mixing and mastering is pretty good, although I think the piano at 2:40 got a little buried under the melody. You also could’ve done more with dynamic contrast and phrasing, and you didn’t do anything particularly unique with the sound design. I’ve been tough on you in this review, but overall I’m seeing a lot of potential in this piece. Keep at it, man. ;)
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