If this is any indication of what your album will be I'm looking forward to it. It's real brave of you to put up a rough draft to get suggestions on. There's not much I can say that hasn't said below.
Only to give you a little something, toward the end of the middle (if that makes any sense) when you kind of whisper sing maybe bring the volume up a little because the soft sound works really well for the song but its fading below the music. You, or whomever is singing has a sweet voice maybe you could just lower the sound a little? But enough about all that. Even with this being the first draft, your song is a lot better than a lot of the stuff here. I have a feeling I'll be downloading a lot soon. ;)
I'm finally getting around to reviewing this.
This is a very good song, very well composed and even better performed. A nice swaying 6/8 time is always appreciated by me. The glockenspiel (?) is a real nice touch and you might consider giving that a few more subtle cameos after its introduction.
Since it's the rough draft, the only thing I really feel needs commenting on is the production. Lo-fi is good but sometimes it's actually a bit sloppy, which is a pity because it kinda pulls me out of the listening experience.
First off, I think you should take the time to make a good volume graph for the vocal track. Its overall volume is somewhat too low anyway (I can't really make out a lot of the lyrics), and at certain points it gets snowed under completely for a short time.
There's also the bit from 1:06 and 1:18 where the melody is really too low for your voice. At 3:32 again. I'd really try to either alter it a bit so it falls within your range, or add a line an octave higher and mix that to the background.
Overall I think the vocals are wonderfully done, you have a modest but flexible voice and are able to reach the higher range without having it sound forced or off-key. It's emotional but not pathetic.
The guitar would probably benefit from some compression, I feel the emphasis on the high and mid frequencies is somewhat too small. Because the drums are so (deliciously!) clanky, it gets a little mushy overall.
All said and done this is a great singer/songwriter track and with a little extra thought put into mixing it can compete with acoustic Pearl Jam in its glory days. 5 and download for effort and goodness. Keep it up and don't let douchebags like above lower your spirits in any way.
Thanks for the detailed review? I completely agree on the production needing to be taken up a notch or five. I've never even heard of a vocal graph; I usually just play around with it until it sounds halfway-decent. As for the low melody, I've already started playing it a whole step or so higher, and that helped a ton, so the next recording won't have that issue.
Thanks again for the review! Glad you liked it. I'll definitely work on the mixing...
dude, you're an asshole.
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.