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'Twas The Night Before Beta...

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Based on a poem from the Overwatch subreddit:

Image: https://www.reddit.com/r/Overwatch/comments/3qopi6/i_made_a_new_overwatch_logo/

Song: http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/460698

I'm a McCree main and I'll stay a McCree main even if they nerf him into worthless. I'm only a little sorry, but also,




'Twas the night before beta, when all through the house,
Not a keyboard was stirring, not even a mouse;
The pre-orders were made on B.net with care,
In the hopes that Early Access soon would be there;
The Onlywatchers nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Kaplan danc'd in their heads.

My girlfriend in her blanket, as I poured my scotch,
Had me all prepared, for my Overwatch.

When then a Pharah arose such a clatter,
I saw that McCree already had her.

Then some grenades off like a flash,
But yet revealed was the corpse of a Junkrat.
I asked my team if I could play Widow,
To which they replied only "no, no no."
I attempted to yell "Tracer is here!"
But yet too late, Mercy's dead from the rear.
I installed to my hard drive so eager and quick,
Only to wonder, what hero to pick?
From this lonely actor, so likely to botch...
A good beta to all,
And to all a good Watch.

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I'm still too hung up on blastin caps in foos to get into this Overwatch of which you rhyme,
your reading of this created a great masterpiece, sounds like it took a great deal of time.

Yet again your work is peerless, and it astounds me with skill,
putting your talents to this script, for me, was certainly a thrill.

Cheers, loves, Overwatch is nearly here!

Goddamn, this poem 'tis indeed had me riveting in a direction that can be assumed to be laughter! Or could it be'eth the feeling of hype? True, and utter hype, thou.

The hype fills me with a great urge to play Overwatch and jerk off to Shadman's artwork. In that order. Not at the same time! What are you on about!?

After quite a while of watching cool people play Overwatch, 'tis my timeth to play upon the game, with my di- I mean, controller in hand. And that depends on the mighty gods of controller support. Overwatch, it is time for me to come to you. But not, however, in the sexual way, as it was when me and Gianni first saw you.

Good shit, mate. It's Overwatch time at last.

Gianni responds:

I mean hell there's nothing in the game stopping me from doing it. Especially if you play Bastion, because you'll only need one hand in turret mode. Should we start calling his sentry configuration "Configuration: Masturbation"? Hm. Will workshop it.

Credits & Info


4.30 / 5.00

May 2, 2016
1:13 AM EDT
Spoken Word
File Info
1.4 MB
1 min 35 sec

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* Contains third-party samples.
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