Definitely like the build-ups in this song, they seem quite well placed throughout it. I feel like the drums are a tad overpowering and if they were brought down a tiny bit they wouldn't feel like they are overpowering some of the other melodies in the song. Overall though, great composition here for a second shot.
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.
* Cover / remake of a third-party piece.
Excercise caution when using it, refer to author comments / contact the author for details.