Hahaha. This is your first submission? This is great xD pretty on point. I'd probably cut it a little more to the point, the first minute is slow in some parts, still good though. Cutting out that "dead air" would help. It trails off to some randomness, feel like it could be a little strong, but not bad though. :)
Also, I would add a "phonecall" filter to the callers, it's easy to do, sometimes you can find filters in different programs. I feel like this could have been shortened to 2 minutes or less as it currently is written, it kinda drags out a bit long, but nice job, especially for a first submission. Good mic quality.
Thanks man for the critique! This was mostly off the top of my head and I pieced it together in audacity but I'm honored by your review. I'm definitely planning to put some more effort into future submissions.