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Abandoned Paradise

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Author Comments

chill dance track with touchy chords

edit - vote on spinnin' talent pool!


R4R - Everyone below me has failed to provide the criticism I know you need so time for a whole bunch of criticism here goes

0:04: Right off the bat I notice a pretty lazy melody. This melody carries throughout the entirety of the track, and it sounds really unappealing in my ears. It sounds like you took the 3rd note of each chord and repeated it with slight rhythmical changes, which isn't the most creative of approaches.
0:05: Something in this section feels rhythmically off. It's supposed to have swing, and it sounds like everything has that swing, but something still sounds squared off. Maybe it's the sidechain ratio?
0:23: This section lacks a proper transition. Even a short reverse or a simple white sweep would have done the trick.
00:46: That kick needs a lot more punch than you've given it, and I don't like the clap, but I can't really describe why. Also at this point in the song, its sluggish tempo becomes increasingly apparent. Perhaps a faster tempo would have fit this piece better?
01:07: You're using chiptune hits or something as toms, and while that could be considered a rather original idea, the change presents the problem of tuning - because those hits are off key, they sound jarring rather than supportive.
01:10: At this point, your song is getting super boring. Repetition is the culprit. The problem only gets worse later on, as the chords never really change much. Try to variate things more.
01:15: Also, starting to notice an overly-repetitive and lazy drumset design. You can switch things up by at least adding more cymbals (open hat, ride, etc) or by using some basic fill techniques like double-timing the bass drum or the clap.
01:32: Once again, repetition.
01:53: Once again, repetition.
02:16: Finally, change. This is my personal favorite part for the first 10 seconds, until the melody re-enters and reminds me about the first point I stated in this review.
02:39: You have a drop thing, and it's exactly the same as the first, except with an extra pad. That doesn't count as substantial variation in my book. There are other techniques of drop variation that are much more effective than adding a couple sounds: transitioning to double time, switching up chords, etc
03:24: Fnally, after 3 minutes, something interesting to listen to. Although it doesn't stay interesting for very long.
03:46: Maybe the only chordal variation in the entire piece?

I'm giving this track 2.5/5 stars in the review. Overall the mixing sounds pretty good, the pad at 02:16 sounds really nice, and you end nicely. But the repetition and lazy melodic and drum design pushes it down quite a bit. I'm rating it a 4, though, to help you grow. :) Keep it up!

People find this review helpful!
MrSmash64 responds:

jesus its like reading a novel,
but novels help people learn! ;) thanks!

I felt a good vibe from this track.
Good job!

Solid mastering, you don't have any lonely frequencies. I like the powerful chorus you have here, and I thought the reverbed clap was tasteful. The song definitely fits with the title.

MrSmash64 responds:

then why the 4 star rating???
i know you are trying to be nice but I need critisism

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Credits & Info


3.75 / 5.00

Dec 29, 2015
8:26 PM EST
File Info
6.9 MB
4 min 17 sec

Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.