So lets start from the top:
WRONG BASS DRUM. Make it harder, louder but not overpowered. That way you can emphasise the guitar. Because of that I feel that the song really was wack.
Your guitar is OK at times and not to well at others. For example, the intro was excellent (really had a smile on me). But then the weak drums come in and there was not backing to the main melody so it was very bland. Then you have your headbang section at 52 seconds but it was really lacking.
Check out a song called agalloch - limbs. You may find it good inspiration. This is because your section at 1:08 had a similar sound.
There is much I would change but otherwise you are really not that far off!
For now, work on your drums and think about how to complement your main guitar properly with harmonies.
Dude, this is awesome. Thanks a ton for the constructive criticism. I'll definitely heed your advice.