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The Ugly Duckling

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Author Comments

A little song that I wrote after an event triggered a repressed memory from my childhood. I remember crying and screaming as I remembered a memory that I didn't know I had. The memory was of an incident in my childhood when I was raped. I wanted to capture the feeling of confusion, of feeling as though you're somewhat at fault for either not remembering and allowing the person to get away with what they did, or letting the person get close enough to rape you in the first place. I felt ugly, I felt confused, and all I wanted to do was scream and cry.


You lied about your child molesting gropes
You lied about your bondage ropes
You lied about your subway rapes
Now everyone's laughing but me
I never walk, I only crawl
I sleep on the floor
I can't sleep on a bed

You taught me how to wash the damned
You taught me how to wash the damned
I feel so unclean

The ugly duckling

You try to find someone else who understands you
You avoid speaking to anyone who would reprimand you
Everybody's laughing but me

The ugly duckling


Wow, that's terrible. There is many a time during days when I'm just sitting and thinking that I wish this world was a better place. The song's great though :).

ti-on-suxandrox responds:

Thank you for your comment. I'm still trying to heal and discover for myself what to do now that I know about it. I definitely emphasize with people who were raped a lot more, as well as victims of horrible things in general. I thought I did before, but now it feels different, if that makes sense.

Honestly, I wish it didn't happen to me, and I would be happy if it never happened to anyone else. Like the song says, it makes me feel unclean to know it happened.

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Credits & Info

2.42 / 5.00

Nov 24, 2015
8:53 PM EST
New Wave
File Info
3 MB
3 min 17 sec

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