The percussion seemed a bit awkward. I think it could have really worked for fusing with the genre, but there seemed to be more emphasis on the electronica aspects than the orchestral elements. Doubling those sustained strings with horns or a choir or maybe even a synth texture would have given more depth to the orchestral mix so that it could keep up with such a heavy percussion part. Interesting that the other orchestral song you linked to seems to have better mixing quality. Maybe it's just a VST or DAW difference? Well musically, it seems you have an affinity for electronic genres, so the melodic material was robotic and boring, but I did kind of like it; it worked well within the context of this song. The melody needed more variation though...it almost seemed like you were gonna do that at the end with the piano, but it didn't really develop. Annnywayssss, yeah...this could use some work, but I still was kind of hooked on it. Good work!