I'm not sure I quite grasped onto what you were trying to do leading up to the transition at :08. It has a very mysterious and spooky mood, yet all the extraneous effects and complex rhythms make it seem really busy and overwhelming. It's really hard to follow the structural elements of this piece. I think you need a recurring melody to keep the listener grounded, as well as a bridge/breakdown/re-intro with some dynamic contrast. As it is, it's just a continuous stream of dark and spooky harmonies. While I admire your attempt at going in a different direction with the piece at 3:10, the instrument you introduced was very harsh-sounding and I think you need to equalize out some of the higher tones. The piece ends very suddenly, and overall I'm just plain confused. The mixing is also not great. The lead and drums both sound distorted at various points in the song. I would highly recommend you take the time to learn more about equalizing and using limiters/compressors/panning to your advantage. Compositionally, this piece needs to be smoother. You have a lot of interesting ideas here, but they need to be presented so that the listener has time to chew and swallow them, instead of having all the food he's going to eat today shoved down his throat. I'd encourage you to keep working at it. It has potential. Good luck, man. ;)
Thanks for your feedback. My mixes do usually sound pretty sketchy. It's due to equal parts suck, shit monitors, and overindulgence on compressing everything to within an inch of its life. They are all issues I definitely should be considering.
However I'm afraid I'm going to have to completely disagree with you on the stuff about composition. This Is actually a cover, so it was really mostly an exercise in arrangement and learning by ear for me (because good luck finding tabs). The guy who wrote it (Tim Smith of the cardiacs) has to be one of the most uniquely brilliant and criminally underrated compositional geniuses of the last 30 years (yeah I know, get off his dick, but he really was pretty darn brilliant, even if some of their stuff sounds a bit dated). Also there are a whole bunch of recurring melodies.
Unfortunately I sacrificed a lot of the tempo and time Sig stuff that was going on in the original, and that's probably most evident in the intro, so Im going to chalk that up as an experimental failure.
I agree with you on the ending though. It's a bit cack, with the whole tacked on generic dubstep wubs and the abrupt cut off.
Thanks for commenting.
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.
* Cover / remake of a third-party piece.
Excercise caution when using it, refer to author comments / contact the author for details.