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There's No Coffee in Hell

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Author Comments

This track is influenced by an era of 60's kitschy jazz a la Henry Mancini, Herb Alpert, and many others. As someone who at one time was a very serious jazz student, it took me awhile to appreciate this style, but now it's one of my favorite things. It's inspired by the world of Archer, Venture Bros, and anywhere else there's a debonair spy set in an ambiguous era.

People are often confused by the title. Despite the light, smooth nature of the track, it was actually written to be a humorous underscoring for mornings when everything goes wrong. You oversleep, your shower breaks, you realize you forgot to buy more coffee beans, you can't find your keys, you miss your train or bus, and by the time it's noon you have said the F word out loud 436 times. It's like being in Hell where, on top of overall general horribleness, there isn't even any coffee.

Uncompressed loopable files can be downloaded here: http://sleepfacingwest.com/sleepfacingwest/2015/7/28/gl017-theres-no-coffee-in-hell

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So god damn smooth, I adore this.

sleepFacingWest responds:

thank you

This song would fit well in Fallout: New Vegas, one of my favourite games of all time. Great job!

Much respect.

sleepFacingWest responds:


After reading the author comments section, I started enjoying this piece a hundred times more. I can imagine a video/flash/movie where all you see is a person standing there, everything going wrong around them at the time of day passes them by. The snooze button hit one too many times, the "Oh, ffs." look on their face as they shower late, drive to work stuck in traffic, get to work late, in boss' office with the same expression as they get chewed out, the copier blasting toner all over them, the coffee break surrounded by chatty gossipers, being asked to work late, working late, getting home just in time to go to bed, lather, rinse and repeat.

I genuinely hope that someone uses this with your description in mind. It's truly brilliant, and you can tell that you've had genuine training as a student of jazz. You can hear the influences, but you've still managed to make something very original.

Thank you for making this.

sleepFacingWest responds:

Thanks! I wasn't a very good student of jazz, just very serious. I bailed towards the end and concentrated my efforts on contemporary concert music instead. I understand jazz theory, but I'll never be hired to play bebop.

An amazing little piece. Great to play while doing something, or even just relaxing. More pieces like this and you'll be well on your way to a tank award.

sleepFacingWest responds:

Thanks! Until recently, I've always tried to focus on working in as many styles as possible, but it's recently been suggested by audio gurus to pick genres and specialize. This jazz stuff is slowly starting to become a possible niche, so we'll see how it turns out.

I don't know what a tank award is, but now I want one ;)

Credits & Info

4.52 / 5.00

Jun 7, 2015
4:30 PM EDT
File Info
2.7 MB
1 min 12 sec

Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.