Although you had a lot of good things working here, especially the vibe and some of the synth, it seemed like none of it came together really well in the end. The percussion sounded off, and it threw off the entire piece. The two different synths were not working together, both in volume and in general, and there was a lack of mixing and editing as the final step. This is definitely something you should take back into the shop and edit/fix. Like I said, the vibe you had going was really cool you just have to put it all together and mix it.