Not so sure about this, mate. The beat sound good, but it's a really low-quality recording, which is a shame. Your voice too sounds like it's recorded with a simple mic and not an actual mic meant for voice-recording of decent quality.
About the rapping: you started off okay, but in the middle part of the song it's more just 'saying a random thing every now and then' than actual rapping. At the 2:30 mark you turn back to more actual rapping. I also think you need to improve on your rapping in general. I suppose it's freestyle, but maybe you should start off with some actual written lyrics before throwing yourself at the harder stuff, you know?

Six stars for the effort.

- LiquidOoze