You sound too subdued, especially for high bpm free-styling. The song is called Boundless Rage so show us that anger.
Also, even the best rappers muddle their flows in a feestyle, but it should sound like you are trying to hold your speed back to match the song, not desperately keep up with it.
Try recording your lyrics first with absolutely no beat or accompaniment. Get in tune with your own rhythm and flow, in hip hop your words should be dictating the beat, not the other way around.
Also, you sound like you're worried about bothering the neighbors. If you want to rap, fuck your neighbors and let yourself go.
its 4am and yeah i agree with what your saying but, no I do not want to rap lol, i prefer dancehall/grime yeah?
Edit: I was attempting to keep my room mate from waking up. spoiler they slept!