Nice, you have some interesting parts here. I think your area of improvement lies in the production realm of things. I mean like, tone, mix, drum sound etc. I think the composition and performance is awesome. This song has the most feeling of anything I've found in the portal today. I've listened to about 15 songs so far. I think more echoyness on your guitars would be good. And of course vocals would really round this song out.
That middle section is nice. I guess it's a bit repetitive but it's ok. What I think would sound great is if you let the clean guitar ring a bit longer at the 4:23 mark while the song picks up. It sounds like it ends abruptly. I guess you click on your distortion at that point and that's why it's abrupt? But the distortion riff that comes in at that point is great and the rest at 4:31 is a great element too. That's what I mean by awesome composition, I like that stuff.
Anyway keep it up man! I like your riffage.