This is a NGADM Round 1 review.
Your Score Breakdown:
Production: 20/30 (includes vocal performance)
Composition: 24/30 (includes lyric writing)
Total Score 77.5/100 or 7.75/10 or 4/5 stars.
Compositionally, this song was quite nice. Strangely it reminded me of the main theme of Civilization IV (Baba Yetu) once the xylo came in (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQfa5E1o_tc). It wasn't extraordinarily well composed, but it didn't need to be. Everything just kinda fit in very well. I might suggest adding more mid-ground elements such as cellos or clarinets or some brass, to help out or to contrast the viola staccatos.
I enjoyed the lyrics and the performance quite a bit. However, there were a few points where consonant endings were not together. Don't forget about how long notes should hold- endings are as important as beginnings, even at a note-per-note level!
As has been the case for a time, you will be constrained quality-wise by the quality of your samples. Under that constraint, I think taking the videogamey feel was a great move. There's a lot you can do with soundfonts, but they are still limited compared to what modern samplers or live work can do.
There's a lot of mixing stuff you might want to try out. First off, I found the backing vocals around 1:12 to be quite weak. Either make them louder, or record a bunch more tracks so it sounds like a full choir (an effect I LOVE to do). I could really hear a full choir backing up the vocals in this, like in the aforementioned Baba Yetu.
The staccato strings are a bit quiet, they get eaten up by the rest of the song quite easily. The bass instrument is almost inaudible for me. I might recommend considering an electric bass instead of an arco bass, to give it a more bite and accent the attacks, which are great.
My biggest suggestion regarding the mixing of the vocals is to try adding some more of the fundamental harmonic using EQ, but some other things that might help is singing closer to your mic. All microphones to some extent feature something called the Proximity Effect, in which when it is close to the sound source, it picks up more bass frequencies, while when further away, it gets weaker and more tinny. Something to also consider eventually is upgrading your microphone to a large diaphragm vocal condenser mic and an audio interface at some point, but I believe working hard with effects and EQ will really bring out all the nice things in your voice much more, like oil on wood. Right now it sounds the same way the wood looks after the first coat and it has seeped in and hasn't changed much. Keep applying layers and carefully crafting the timbre of the voice until it shines like a well-oiled table. Keep experimenting to find ways to add more presence and power to vocals, as right now you seem far away and weak. :)