Fruity Loops huh?
Just an assumption here, but I am gonna guess you are using Fruity Loops. The problem with FL is that you get so bogged down in actually creating loops that you dont take time and arrange them correctly. This is what I feel happened here. I would suggest you export your loops, individually and use a program called Acid Express, and tool your loops so that they correctly crescendo and have the proper volume you want. Otherwise, it sounds like an 808 machine, and you dont want people to know what you used ;) I think you are off to agood start though, you just need some direction, and need to make a song, start to finish. Then you will be in da house-