lullaby for lonely robots

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procrastisongwriting (n.)

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I was enjoying your musical offering quite a bit UNTIL I noticed the title. "Lullaby for lonely robots." This left me with a lot of questions. 1) I have a hearing aid, a catheter and a gold tooth. Do I qualify as a robot? If not, what would I need in order to become a fully fledged robot? 2) I have a wife, Glenda, who I love dearly. However, as I was listening to this song, she was in the other room, reading her King James. I'm always lonely when my Glenda is away, but since she rarely leaves my side, I'm not generally lonely. Does temporary loneliness still count, as far as meeting the qualifications necessary to enjoy this song? If not, how often do I need to be lonely in order to get the full effect of this lullaby? 3) Why is the title not capitalized? Glenda is a (retired) english teacher, so she'd bite your head off for that one haha ;) All in all, the music was enjoyable, but I was very vexed by my previously stated questions while listening to it. I am also still struggling to decide whether or not I am a "lonely robot." Please consider naming your musical offerings in a more clear manner in the future, so that you don't confuse us poor folks off advanced age ;) (Don't tell Glenda I called her that, she's sure to bite my head off for it haha)

flanhandle responds:

1. I wouldn't call you a robot so much as a disabled loser. It'd be nice if you were a robot though, because then maybe someone could reprogram you to not suck.
2. You're not lonely, but your life does sound truly awful.
3. Sorry, but Glenda sounds like a bitch. I want to say you could do better, but you probably couldn't. You two both sound like the kind of people I try to avoid; you deserve each other.

Hope this helps! And be sure to check out my new blog: The Hoax Blokes!

- flanhandle

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Jul 27, 2014
6:45 PM EDT
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