Your segments are too short, there's too much downtime and not enough variation.
You've put this annoying structure into the song where it's heavy for a short time and then you do this interlude, then an even shorter heavy part and some more down time, then a heavy part and then a black metal riffage part. You need more metal riffs to round this all out instead of these interludes, which you could use for another song.
Most of your transitions are these parts where you do these interludes that stop the song in order to transition. Really you only want to do that only once a song, especially one of this length and character (You're like, punching me in the face with these interludes while I'm trying to rock out). At 1:19 you should just run into the next riff instead of putting in an interlude. Then at 1:58 you should have put in a new riff instead of an interlude. You might want to rhythm riff it up a little bit too for added power.
It's not that these interludes sound bad, it's that they are unnecessary and intrusive.
You pretty much just focus on a couple (awesome) licks that need some more parts to go with them and relegate those said licks to a chorus position.
I love that black metal jive, though. That's awesome. Could have been a bit longer.
I hate that synth bass. Sorry, but it just don't agree with me.
There's nothing wrong with your mix. Seriously, you don't need pro equipment.
Keep in mind that this is all just my opinion. If you do not agree with it you do not have to, that's the great thing about being human.
So in the end, it's a well mixed mash of parts that isn't the most pleasant thing to listen to. You're doing great work! Just keep at it!
I totally respect your opinion and appreciate your critique. Feels nice knowing someone I've never met before actually cares about the direction I take my music in. I'm sorry these interludes get in the way of the already short heavy bits. It hasn't annoyed me before, nor has it occurred to me that these segments could annoy some listeners. I will put all you've said into consideration if I ever decide to remake it for my first album. An idea... I'll remake this version (for those who like it the way it is) and make an extended heavy version (for those who hate interrupting interludes). If the guy, who was writing with me, had stuck with the song all the way, I bet you would've given it over 3 stars. Thanks for checking it out! I'll keep at it. I might have better songs that fit your taste. "Jobless" may be up your alley. Outdated sound, of course, but catchy writing and heaviness.
Excellent production! I really dig the crisp guitar tone. Part of me wishes the bass guitar was real, but it sounds great. The pick sound really gives it attack while still having a warm presence.
This is very impressive composition-wise. There was not a dull moment listening to this. The guitar melodies carry this piece well in my opinion. Also the transitions at 2:00 and 3:34 are way sick!
I definitely know how you feel when it comes to making music on a low budget. But keep at it! The quality here in terms of playing and production is really good. I'm looking forward to more!
Thanks a ton, sir! Glad you found no dull moments. Some listeners do, but then some don't, like you and I. Always making more music, slowly but surely! :)