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Worst Mistake

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New track off of the upcoming Cry Baby mixtape.
Beat by RevolteSocialHipHop

Find on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5XJ9LyK4UM&feature=youtu.be

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MadMikado

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This one really take off

So this one really takes off and on it's own unique vibe you have braught together some nice elements to the big stage here and I was really impressed with what sounds came out of this track really had a nice kick to it and liked it from beginning to end so for me this was a blast and hope you keep making stuff

~~THINGS TO IMPROVE ON~~
Keep making stuff like this

~X~

The lyrics are great, the flow's good for the most part (gets a bit out of line around 1:55 and onwards) but the music feels overly soft somehow. I like the melody, but the piano is so far in the background it doesn't have that much impact on the track, feels it should enforce the rhyme and not just hide in the shadows of time. The beat stopping for the hooks; piano growing louder is nice, but how about a change of melody at that same time? IMO it grows a bit monotone. Unless that monotony is supposed to be symbolic to the content then it'd be useful variation.

I notice there's a lot of hissing - maybe try to annunciate the S's less? Overall it's an intense track; a messily metaphoric fluency that kinda never reaches the moment of truth and clarity you expect, just fades away, something you can really 'get down' to. :P Nice work!

-cd-

glad to see your still on your game! lyrics and flow were on point. cool beat! keep up man!

-Klazik

Feel like the character of your voice needs a bit more work. Like, its good what your going for, but just doesn't quite come off strong enough. On top of that the lyrics don't do you to many favours. Allthough they are ballsy in how personal the are, its how they are personal that doesn't quite do it. They sound like depressive ramblings, if you can think more concisely of a topic to centre such ramblings around, something to give it more purpose that would make the song a lot more strong. Also, the beat sounds rather plain. Not in a melodic sense, but in the production/ mixing. The bass and drums don't smack, due to their sound. The piano loops is a bit boring. Sooo yeah. I'd suggest work on it alot more. Try and stay focused. Perhaps find a reference track, an artist you like the sound of. And then once you've recorded try listening to your track, and theirs, and see how t compares in quality. and if it doesn't, then put more work in.

Luke responds:

The thing is that this track is SUPPOSED to sound like depressive ramblings, and if you've ever sat down with or spoken with a depressed person about their problems, they go from point A to point Q to point J to point R and back to point A. It's all over the place because they're trying to put their thoughts together just as much as the listener is.
I know what I'm doing with lyricism, I didn't want my vocals to have a big "in your face" kind of impact on this song, for reasons that should be obvious. It's sad. I'm supposed to sound sad, and weak.
I can write a track, listen to my other ones if you think I'm no good with lyrics. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but this isn't a perfect example of my lyricism or rapping in general.

Aside from that, thank you for the review and the criticism. It's just one of those tracks where I had a sound in mind, lyrics in mind, and it ended up sounding and being written the way I'd pictured it.

Credits & Info

Luke
Author

Listens
1,813
Faves:
7
Downloads
39
Votes
6
Score
4.55 / 5.00

Uploaded
Feb 18, 2014
6:22 PM EST
Genre
Hip Hop - Olskool
File Info
Song
3.4 MB
2 min 30 sec
Tags

Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.