That video was awesome, cookie monster cameo and everything. :D I'm not here to review that part though, as for the music:
The music itself was great, I like the jazzy touch it has to it, and a steady oldskool beat to back it up. I feel the rap could be more fluent though. It starts great, but some parts of the following verses and hook don't really flow as well as they could, I particularly notice the 'only in death you see what I've done'... it's all about building lines with (audibly, doesn't really need to be exact) equal amounts of syllables to create a steady rhythm, between lines as well as within lines if you voice them in chunks, like you do in the hook - but you probably know that. A concrete way to fix that line, maybe add a will before the you? That way the three parts of the line are all the same length and you don't need to drag the middle part out. Tiny details...
Some parts of the verse could be clearer, I'm listening a few times to that 'ball and chain' part but just can't hear what you say before that. Lyrics would be nice at this point! :) Overall it's great, I like the flow, the music, the choice of words (creatively unique) and everything, but maybe polish the lines a bit or practice the flow some more? I know it's harder than it seems to sound truly fluent. Keep it going!
As much as I hate rap, this wasn't that bad. The jazz was a unique touch. The timing on the saxophone was a bit strange but sort of fit the song. The drums fit very smoothly into the song and gave it some character.