This is an interesting entry. I really don't know where to place it...

Anyway, here's some constructive criticism for you!

Right off the top, I'll tell you that you're putting a little too much distortion on that guitar, imo. If you're doing it that way because you're going for a more metal kind of sound, you'll be better off changing the distortion itself than increasing the damage output on it.

Your piece sounds really dry - some reverb and delay would be good things to add, to give the song some "space" in the sound.

You could stand to bring the piano down a notch.

Play with some EQ (equalization) - right now things sound a little muddy. Part of that can be solved by using some effective equalization techniques. There are some great tutorials on EQ methods out there, I recommend spending some time looking at those and experimenting.

There seems to be a blip at the end of your guitar riff, which makes it sound a little non-contiguous. Not sure if that's a recording thing, or a release setting, or what. Not a big thing, but you'll definitely want to look into little things like that if you want to present a polished product.

Lastly, don't be discouraged if it sounds like I'm nailing you with a bunch of things I don't like - I'm telling you these things because I want to help you, and you sound like you want to get better. We've all been there, and I know how that can feel.

Keep pushing, OfficeGalactic.