This has a lot of potential. I was impressed with a lot of things in this song. The opening 49 seconds or so is absolutely wonderful. From 3 minutes to the end this is a godsend. The problem is getting there from the opening. I was expecting you to take it to shift to a higher gear at some point, but there was never a moment in the middle of your awesome opening and closing sequences where you did that. To be honest, I felt like almost much of the middle of your song was wasted as filler. It took away from what otherwise may have been a really epic song. Here's my breakdown of my thoughts during the song:
Beginning to 10 - Nice start. I like how it sets the tone. Leads well into the next section.
10 to 29 - This is an epic way to introduce the song. Kudos to you.
30 to 49 - I just love the way you are building tension in the song right here. This beginning is just so good.
49 to 55 - I like the little rift here. A little unexpected but it's a nice touch.
49 to 1:18 - I thought it was a good transition. A little tone down isn't a bad thing so long as you raise it again. This section also has some really good vibes.
1:18 to 1:44 - The tension is rising a bit slower than I would have thought by now, but it's still very good. If the last section had some really good vibes, this section has absolutely amazing vibes. You are really working it, and I do dig it. But you are also dangerously close to taking away the momentum you had built so far with the song. This is where you have kick it up a notch, or at least go back to the level of the beginning. Let's see what you do next.
1:44 to 1:54 - This is the first place where I thought you lost a lot of potential in this song. It's a decent bridge rift. But you should have saved it for after a more intense moment. By doing this, you relieved all the tension you had worked up without even taking advantage of it yet. You have to eventually break out of that tension instead of letting it just fade away in the middle of the song.
1:54 to 2:13 - You let the air out of your tires with that last bridge and you come back with this? It's not bad. But it also doesn't cut it for your song. You put this in one of the most important areas of the song. Maybe you could have used it as background, and played a kicking melody over it or something? Because you are missing that kicking part of the song that the epic beginning implied.
2:13 to 2:23 - No. No, no, no, no, NO! Going back to the same bridge rift without even giving me any life in between? It's an ok rift, but it simply doesn't fit. It just feels like filler from the first time you did this through the the second. I won't say it doesn't belong in your song at least once. But it certainly doesn't belong twice in place of what should have been sections with far more life in them to go with that opening. The better part of a minute now is wasted right when it was supposed to get really good.
2:23 to 3:02 - This is so bad for your song. Don't repeat this rift, too! Don't do this again for even longer. It's not a terrible rift, and it has some good things going for it. But it goes on for way too long and it should not replace an area where you song needs more than filler. Let alone replace it twice and double the continuous filler time in your song. You could take it to the next level. I keep waiting for that and I'm getting this! I know it is metal, but where is the main melody (or as close to it as metal comes) for your song? Where is the highest tension? It's in the beginning and end, which is wonderful. But the entire middle is just filler? You can do so much better.
3:02 - 3:27 This is where it gets good again. Not exactly taking it to the next level like I would have liked to hear somewhere in the middle of the song, but it takes the song back to the appropriate level. It does sound really good. But it also feels somewhat out of place because you have just put me through over a minute and a half of complete filler right in the middle.
3:27 to 3:29 - A nice little transition through a semi-break. It's a small detail, but I think it works for this moment.
3:29 to end - Great. Great way to end it. I cannot tell you how much I dig that part. However, it also feels kind of empty because the entire middle of the song is relatively empty.
The beginning and end deserve a 10/10 or 5/5. The middle deserves a 3.5/10 or a 2/5. The beginning and ending parts of the song are amazing, but it feels so disconnected. It simply doesn't travel well from point A (start) to point B (end). It has enormous potential, but I can't make myself give you more than three and a half stars for this as an entire song. You get a 3.5/10 or 3/5.