VAC 11 Judge Review:

Well, I was very lost because I know nothing about League of Legends. Although you had variation with your tonal character, I wasn’t feeling much enthusiasm. I felt like I was hearing a script being read for the most part. You had a good music choice that was a little awkward because it kept running through the entire piece so I wasn’t sure when there was a mood change or change in plot. The mixing was okay and like I said before you did have a pretty good variation of voices. The story choice would have been more fitting if you weren’t setting it up in the realm of this game. A more general fantasy realm would have made it much easier for me to understand. Otherwise, I think you need to practice really projecting emotion and character with your voice. But good work!

While the content is refreshing from some of the others I've heard so far, you rely too much on exposition to tell the story, and because of that I lost some interest. You may want to shave off a little of the old man's story in order to meet the 6:00 mark, since Newgrounds says that you're one second over the time limit.

The mixing could be a tad better, as there's a lot of static left on your recording. Noise removal should help. The sound effect at 5:51 is also too loud, and I thought it was inappropriate. It sounded as though he may be swinging a weapon, but your voice acting didn't quite convey what was happening either.

As for your voice acting itself, the third voice heard at 1:19, the rough gruff one, sounded too forced in the beginning, and around 1:30, the multitude of characters got jumbled up. None of the voices are particularly memorable or distinct. The emotion flatlines. Specifically, when they first draw blood, the character who expresses happiness...doesn't sound all that happy, and the character at 5:47 didn't sound justified in his anger.

Shaving off that last second and using noise removal on your recording should be the easiest improvements to your entry before the deadline. Good luck :)