It's amazing, and sad, that even expressing sadness comes off so beautifully in your art.
I'm late to the party... I'm sure everything is going so much better for you now (I hope), but it pains me to know you were ever sad. But great joy can be found in this too. If we are the sum of our experiences, than both your ups and your downs is what permits you to make such beautiful music we can all enjoy and be inspired from.