First, the bass drum sample is strange and very loud. I can send you some decent bass drum samples I made myself if you want. The percussion in general needs a revisit I think... orchestral percussion is normally a transparent thing- backing up what is going on instead of providing a "groove".
I think the melody stuff is nice, it just needs to come out more. You can do this by doubling it up an octave or on other instruments. Use your ear to determine what sounds good doubling what. Think of the orchestra as a big tray of watercolors. Each one is different- yellow, red, green, blue, etc. but when you mix them you can either get cool colors or something that looks like puke. It takes a lot of time to be good at picking the right instruments, just as it takes time to know exactly how much red and yellow make that shade of orange.
In a lot of cinematic music, there are generally two parts: a fast repeating pattern (ostinato), often played on quick (marcato or staccato or pizzicato) strings or a piano or drums, then a slow, powerful melody played on brass or slower strings. Try experimenting with quick strings if you have any and see what you can come up with!
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.