The main problem here is the vocal sample. The vocals here need to be crisp, with short delay and *on the beat*. This piece talks about a very grave situation, something like a piece of music about a dictatorship or an oppressive leadership. Failing to nail the vocals has really gashed my experience of this piece. Because it happens in TWO main sections, we are left beginning the piece on a bad note and ending the piece on a bad note.... Please, if you can, PLEASE rectify that.
That piano after the first vocal section is beautiful, but once again, I maintain that it needs more reverb... There also doesn't seem to be much volume change between some of the piano notes... so a bit more humanising is due. It's a small tweak, but it's readily doable. : )
That specato violin around 2:24 is really, really spot-on and does a lot to heighten the tension of the piece. Well done for using it. Also, I love those drums that kick in around 3:00. I'm a stickler for rhythm. <3
The premise behind this piece is sobering, and if you can knock out those kinks, let me assure you, you'll have a winner in hand. But because we began *and* ended on a bad note with those off-beat, delayed, echoey vocals... I can't say this is something that'll give me chills down my spine, at least not yet. Not until you rectify those kinks.