Right off the bat, I see an improvement in the instrument buildup and the parts. You're not relying on counterpoint too much at least in the beginning.
The drums are at the same volume throughout, as is the synth making the bass part, which makes it monotonous. However, the drop with the vocals before everything kicks back in is quite good.
What would be appreciated is if you could use volume envelopes to introduce the parts.... many sections of this piece sound like they need to come in gradually. Also, 2:54 had about the same intensity as a little before 1:00 -- the end needs a climactic sort of finish and then resolve well.
The voice clips, though they come in at good points, they sound rather disjointed and don't blend well with the rest of the music -- filters? Possibly incorporating them into the music itself? The one that really left a bad taste in my mouth was the use of the RicePirate jingle towards the end. Because I insist on voices blending in with the music, the voice alone "RicePirate!" could've been used. When you included the whole jingle, it felt like an awkward key change and feel change.
1) VOLUME AUTOMATION, PLEASE. Without it, the piece sounds rather monotonous.
2) Please consider incorporating the voices into the music rather than as their separate elements, because if this is meant to be a remix, blending it in will give harmony and continuity.
3) Consider filtering (and adding automation on these filters for) some of these voices. You can make a lot of effects with those, and in a remix, you're aiming to take those elements from RicePirate's movies and make them your own.