The theme that you laid out in pretty deep and powerful. However...
The harmonies and melodies seem pretty counter productive. They don't really support the tone very much. They seem interested in emphasizing the space theme, while your sound could do that find by themselves, freeing up the notes to emphasize on the feelings.
Some of the part where pretty sweet, but the different parts of the song felt like different parts of different songs, aside from having the same sound sets.
I'm pretty confident in giving this a three. Lots of places to improve, but nothing that's really counter intuitive or simply stupid.
The key to remember that I think will help you, is that if you're going after a theme, chase it. Every part of the song's being should support the emotional impact of that theme.
*e. Hmmm. Well, those chords were written as chords, so I'm not sure which notes you're referring to as melodies and which as harmonies. As far as the theme, it was inspired by the song, not the other way around. I appreciate your creative input, however! Thank you!
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.