Good tunes, man, you've got a badass rhythm going on there-- Insane props to 'ya, and keep up the fine work.
Thank you Destrayop, that's really cool that I could entertain you. I just play guitar and put it out there. It's a nice thought that I can occupy someone's mind for a little while.
Reminds me (verse esp) of a puddle of mud song - if you like that sort of thing. The voice is very cobain-esq and fits well within the grunge style i think you were aiming for, unfortunately i found the lyrics pseudo-sentimental and cringeworthy IMHO.
The intro, chorus and bridge were really enjoyable with nice chord progression (not sure if thats a second guitar or use of pinky for the high notes - that add ring through nicely. Unfortunately its all let down by a generic grunge style verse/vocal style that stinks of someone straining their voice to sound like Cobain. Please take it as constructive criticism that its better to find your own vocal style than imitate the legendary.
Hey man, thanks for the honest opinion. I think the lyrical problem is a good point. They were totally just filler. Of course, they must have meant something when I wrote them, but now that I wrote the song so long ago, looking back at what I was singing shows me that I need to clue in my audience to WHY I'm feeling, and not simply THAT I am feeling. For example:
My lyrics "Close your eyes and or your mouth to hear the words that provide outs." is a valid feeling, but whose eyes should be closed? Whose mouth? What words provide outs? I am feeling something, but why? I give no hint. I then go on to sing "Your perfume gives me the blues. Red lipstick and black tattoos on you." which once again is quite vague. Whose perfume? Why does it give me emotional pain? (The blues.) Red lipstick and black tattoos is nice imagery, but on whose lips and body do these superficial things exist?
I could go on and on about the lyrics. Poorly written, and as you can no doubt tell, written on the spot. This usually happens to me when I write a song on the guitar that I am so excited about that I what to quickly stitch together some bullshit lyrics.
As for the "Cobain-esq" quality of my voice, I simply love that band. No other music has really ever made as deep an impact on my life for reasons that you would probably consider mainstream and uncool. But really, the band just reminds me of my father. He would try to connect with me using music all the time, and this was a band we both really enjoyed. So, in a way, I like Nirvana mostly because it reminds me of simpler, better times growing up. My father isn't with us anymore. I kind of always tried to sing like Kurt Cobain because growing up playing guitar, those were the easiest and most fun songs to learn on guitar. So of course, this is where you see the epidemic of bands sounding clichÃ©. Even on their own songs, they learned to play guitar and sing by jamming on cover versions of whichever music they loved, so they, (and I) sound very similar to the artists we were mainly influenced by.
The guitar is in fact all me though. One guitar. One take. I'm glad this one saving grace could allow you to vote 2 stars on this lyrical and vocal abomination of a song. Is that my A for effort? lol
good guitars and nice voice man. good work
Thank you. Much appreciated Dox.
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.