Is it just me, or is the volume on this is pretty low? Bump that up a little.
Pretty cool melody, though you should try to layer it with some other synths.
Lower the bass notes by one octave. Basses doesn't sound nice when played on the higher octaves. ;(
Try putting in a pad (or some white noise) in there. Sounds a little desolate.
But besides that, you have something interesting going on here.
its kinda slow and hard to get into but i like where its going and the melody
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.