I really like the story you tell with this song. It sort of reminds me of my childhood in some ways. The piano work is nothing short of elegant. I am not classically trained, nor do I play the piano (though I would love to learn), so I am not quite sure how to gauge your composition.
It would be nice to hear the song flow a little more smoothly in accordance with the story and theme, in terms of timing and the rising and falling of certain notes..but that's more of a preference on my part and I think the song as a whole works best as you have structured it. Besides that though, I believe you've created a beautiful story through music which is not an easy feat. I hope you realize that you've achieved what you set out to do with this piece, fantastic job! :)